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I can’t explain the why, but I can tell you what happened.
I have .htaccess redirecting all port 80 traffic (http://) to https://
RewriteEngine On
RewriteCond %{SERVER_PORT} 80
RewriteRule ^(.*)$ https://%{HTTP_HOST}/$1 [R,L]
What I happened on by mistake was that if I commented that out, my unsecure pages were just returning 500 errors (still not sure why).
So, I checked the URL on those <form> submissions and it was http:// (despite me having “use secure on frontend” enabled). When I changed those to https:// everything worked fine.
So, I went to System > Config > Web and set Unsecure > Base URL to https:// as well. Everything works great. (Thought I still need to find out why http:// is giving 500 errors.)
Another weird side effect was my Grouped Products changed to a status of “Out of Order” despite me not managing inventory, but changing their associated products from a default quantity of 0 to a default quantity of 1 returned the “Add to cart” button. Now that the Unsecure > Base URL is https:// I can return the default quantities to 0 and still have an “Add to cart” button.
Crazy.
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